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So notwithstanding the que ridiculo pricetag, I'm happy to see uber fancy shoes with a super walkable wedge. I just hope that someone with a bit of integrity in their quality decides to knock this off, instead of the f-21 nonsense.

Holy crap, these are cute. Just the thing to push your saccharine levels over the top when you're playing retro wannabe dressup with Nanette Lepore, dig?

Don't get me wrong! Sometimes I dream about this weird discount shoe place somewhere in L.A. where all the stuff I've lusted after for the last eight months is marked down to like $90 plus it's in a euro 40, and these improbable ankle-butchering cuties will no doubt make a cameo appearance the next time I eat too much ice cream before I hit the hay and am all preoccupied in my snooze. But that is one gargantuan heel. And $830 is, you know, a lot of dough. Sam Edelman has a more or less true-to-feeling knockoff at zapp's for an even c-note. In different colorways natch.

I think Chie Mihara did this better, but I have been feeling this heeled oxford thing lately. I like the woven texture of the upper and the laces, though that heel is a little chintzy lookin' with its stackedness. Plus it's too high. Meh.

You want vintage? Here you go. Re-mix has some excellent styles that are pretty satisfactory for even the most discriminating (read: perfectionistic) tastes out there. I do wish they were a little better quality, though.

I do love a nice sandal with a low wedge, but that's not even the most notable feature here. There's a dash of homage to the gladiator trend with all the strappy activity on the top of the foot, but those criss crosses and the topstitched detail on the patent and the silver buckle all make this a very, very attractive piggy-bearing summertime option.

I love this take on a open-weave oxford-pump, sort of like the style from the '30s but oh so much sleeker. The black patent with the slender, wood-toned stacked heel is all about being dark in the warm summer sun, but the contrast and vintage flair will give you too much personality to sift into the background.

Dude! Wait a minute! The esteemed John Fluevog is totally being ripped, man. At a similar price point, even. I'm all for black studded sandals for the wearing, but Theory totally cleaned this up and fudged all over the fluevog funkiness. For shame, y'all!

For reals, man--these are super cute. And while they don't cradle your arches or provide stellar shock support (or bring you pina coladas on warm days), at least they don't render your delicate tootsies in twain with wicked five-inch heels, which Fendi has totally been known to do. And who knows? They're so lovely they might encourage someone else to bring you a pina colada on a warm day, which is really all you can hope for in the first place. I mean, they're shoes.

Although I'm not sure if I'd actually wear these*, I do appreciate the darker color pairing busy-ness and all those buckles and the shorter heel height and the open spaces accommodated in this design. But, uhm, nix that weird buff-pink insole; what were you thinking? *You know, when shopbop somehow puts me on their freebie mailing list--'cause I'm so not about to spend eight hundred bones on some shoes, man.